Tuesday 20 January 2009

Sensitive creature

Finn undoubtedly requires more emotional support and understanding then his brothers. Sean is fairly self-absorbed, self-disciplined and easy enough to motivate. Rowan just shouts until he gets what he wants or throws a hissy fit, as you would expect at his age. Finn is a more complex soul. Once or twice recently he has been crying when looking at photos of the young Rowan. He says he's upset because he can't remember Rowan as a baby. These are the timescales to which Finn applies his thinking and the sorts of frustrations that arise as a result.

Last week he was in tears over dinner because he'd said he wanted to get married to Zoe and be a daddy but also have a job (as an artist) and go out to work. But Sean had said he couldn't be a daddy and go out to work. And Finn wanted to go out to work, not work in the house like Mummy did with Pampered Chef. And he wanted to teach art too, not just be an artist. So he was genuinely upset at it all.

Sean just doesn't think these things through: he either just accepts or rejects what he is told. It is often Finn, rather than Sean, who sees a consequence to something you are telling them or who makes the connection with some other fact. Neither of them are good at eliciting sympathy however. Sean tends to overreact to the slightest infringement while Finn behaves very poorly if he is the tiniest bit out of kilter, today being a case in point as he was obstreporous with Rowan, Sharon and his friends who were here for a play. It's hard to take the time to understand your children when they behave like that, and all too easy to react in a negative fashion.

Still, that's the challenge of being a parent to three individuals rather than three clones. And it's recognising the worst of yourself in them that can often be the hardest to deal with!

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