Lazy festive days

Sharon served up a fine Christmas dinner, with a starter of parsnip and chestnut soup being lapped up by the boys some time in advance of the main course, a big chicken and the traditional glazed ham. Following on from last year's success, the dessert was a repeat - poached pears and an orange-flavoured creme brulee - eaten by candlelight in our big new space as the wind whipped ever stronger outside, testing the new windows to the limit. I had a very pleasant doze in the middle of the extended meal, sitting with the boys watching Tangled on the TV.

Angus played with his dinosaurs while his brothers get stuck into Rowan's Dungeon board game which kept them quiet upstairs for a good two hours before bedtime. Sean said it was the best Christmas he could remember and all the boys seemed to have a good day without any tears or tantrums. Sharon got a lovely pendant from Sean and I got a handwarmer. It's the first time he's really bought any presents, rather than made some, and I think he got a kick out of giving rather than receiving this year. He bought a few little gifts for his brothers too, which was nice to see.

Boxing Day (or St. Stephen;s Day, if you're Irish) was a very quiet affair. The weather calmed down outside but we did very little inside, enjoying a much-needed long lie and then some lazy lying about watching telly and, in Sharon's case, reading and dozing on the couch. In fairness to her, she never usually dozes during the day despite feeling tired and was feeling a bit poorly so she was due some rest and relaxation. I did the cooking - anything to take my mind off England's continued horror show in Australia. Having already surrendered the Ashes 3-0 in three tests, the Boxing Day Test was a snooze-fest of tight bowling and slow run-rates best watched on fast forward. But England managed to get into a commanding position only to self-destruct yet again in the third innings. It has been depressing viewing. At least a game of Dungeon took my mind off it for a while. It took me back to evenings playing Dungeons and Dragons (D&D) in Billy Pennie's bedroom over thirty years ago.

The St. Johns came over on the 27th as the wild weather returned. We went for a walk along the Hermitage of Braid, taking the high path and having to negotiate a fallen tree at one stage. Angus was the only one small enough to duck under it. The rest of us got pretty muddy clambering over it. The Braid Burn was in full spate as we crossed it and returned by the northern path. Angus did well keeping up with the older boys. It was back to ours for soup, sandwiches and a lazy afternoon listening to the rain lashing against the windows.

Sean has been the one who has taken to the piano most of all. Finn prefers mucking about with the microphone and creating a cacophony while he's supposed to be eating at the table, but Sean has been picking out a few tunes, aided by the play along function. Sharon took the big two to the cinema in the evening, to see Catching Fire which they all loved. A late night for Sean and Finn, who fell asleep very quickly.

Bobby came over this morning with a reckoning of what work remained on the build and what extra costs we had or may need to incur. It certainly looks like we'll be over our budget plus 10% contingency, and the coffers will be looking pretty bare come the springtime. It will be worth getting the work finished though, and now is the time to do it before the boys are bigger, to make sure we make the most of the space. We may not be able to afford to furnish it in as nice a fashion as we'd like, and we may have to look for more purchases like the £125 sofa Marie spotted and which Sharon picked up from a charity shop in Morningside on the Monday before Christmas.

Christmas in the new space

Santa made it to Swanston, no doubt blown on the gale. Angus was up around 0215 but was less than aware of his surroundings and so Sharon ushered him back to bed. Others were up just after six but mercifully neither Sharon nor I heard them until 0715 when we were invaded by four excited boys telling us that Santa had been and what he had left in their stockings upstairs. Oranges again, noted Angus. There were little Meccano sets, pens and pencils, dice, sharpeners, and other arts and crafts stuff, chocolate coins, candy canes and, yes, oranges.

The main event lay ahead though, so, with Sharon and I obliged to climb into our onesies to complete the set, the boys led us through to the darkened extension. Once the lights were on the bounty was revealed next to each boys' Santa Stop sign, made at their B&Q woodworking workshop last Sunday, in the company of Adrian and Sharon. After a false start when the boys pulled the dust sheet off the keyboard (musical) and brought it all crashing down, they each went about their business and seemed very pleased with their haul. Angus was able to open all his presents himself this year and Rowan wasn't quite the whirling dervish of previous years. Finn was happy and Sean was slow, teasing out the opening of his until he was told to hurry up by the others.

Skylanders figures featured highly, with each receiving two to ocomplement the Wii Skylanders Giants game that Rowan got for his birthday. Rowan got a Dungeon board game, a box of Family Circle biscuits (there's a tradition ready to start there), a Sklyanders guide and box for the figures, other books, a food flask and a lip-balm making kit. Angus got some Octonauts toys for the batch, a water pistol, play-doh and a panda pillow pet amongst other books and stuff. Finn got a bird-house, an Angry Birds cushion, gymnastics leotard ("I thought it was a swimsuit!" exclaimed Finn), soap-making kit, pens, stencils and various books as well as a food flask. Sean too got a food flask and, like Finn, a Skylanders pyjama top as well as other tops, a Fairmile Scout hoodie, gymnastics leotard and trousers, Guinness Book of Records, a much-requested battery charger, a watch and other books and odds and ends. No Lego for anyone this year!

Everyone was pleasantly excited but relatively calm, with no tantrums or coveting of others' gifts. Possibly the bigger space in which to operate helped keep everyone far enough apart to do their own thing. After an hour of play, with the new keyboard and Skylanders figures quickly put to the test, we had our first meal in the extension, the old gate-leg table put to use for the Christmas breakfast of pancakes, bacon, fruit and, of course, syrup! Later, Angus demanded a one o'clock bath so he could play with some of his new toys while the rest settled into learning the rules to Dungeon. Time to get cooking!

Wearing the boys out on Christmas Eve

Despite the wild wind "blowing a hooly" as Sharon would have it, we headed into town on Christmas Eve to wear out the boys. First stop was haircuts in Morningside for the big three while Sharon and Angus finished the grocery shopping. Angus and I had our haircuts on Sunday, so we were excused. Finn just wanted a trim (he's trying to grown a long mop on top) and was a little disgruntled that the barber took off a little more than he wanted.

Next we headed into town and parked on Charlotte Square, close to La Tasca, where we went for a late tapas lunch. The restaurant was quiet but the service was dreadfully slow, with our paella taking some 45 minutes to arrive from ordering. We weren't in any hurry, but it can be hard enough keeping the four boys entertained in a restaurant at the best of times, least of all when it's Christmas Eve. Fortunately they had room to roam and ate up well when their food came. Sharon did complain though and we earned a 40% discount on the meal. No complaints about the food really, it's a good gluten-free restaurant, but our appetite waned in the time it took for the food to arrive.

We then dawdled along Rose Street in the gloaming, Angus delighted at the lights strung above the street and having a good look at all the decorations in shop windows. We exchanged a pair of trainers for Finn then wandered into the German market where Finn bought a wooden pig and Sharon bought some decorations as the strengthening wind whipped around the stalls. The big wheel was closed, as was the lower gardens, no doubt to the chagrin of those runnig the event. Saying that, the town and market seemed quieter than expected. Whether it was the weather warnings that had dissuaded people from travelling into town, the midweek nature of Christmas this year or the much-discussed belt tightening due to dire economic straits, I do not know, but central Edinburgh was much quieter than previous years. Sharon took the boys minus Finn on the carousel then we took a detour via Jenners to see the tree (3,000 lights!) before passing the festive pinnacle that is the Dome, its columns LED-resplendent. We bumped into the Barrs before struggling into the chill wind, back along George St to the car.

Angus was in fine form but Rowan got a bit cold and miserable - as ever, he wouldn't zip up his jacket! Both Edinburgh Castle and Jenners were lit up blood red - "Castle Blood" - and looked more grotesque than festive. Angus and I decided that vampires lived there. We also spotted Santa in Starbucks as we walked back to the car. Obviously in need of a double espresso for the long night ahead.

It was after six when we got home and the boys changed into their onesies for a supper in front of the TV in the temporary, but cosy, sitting room. We watched the end of Finding Nemo and Elf then it was upstairs to bed. Finn was desperate to go, being very tired, and even Sean, notorious for not being able to sleep ("Try closing your eyes and staying in bed, Sean. It might help."), requested a "boring book" and was asleep within minutes. Angus resisted briefly and Rowan went down quickly too, the stockings laid out at the ends of their beds and Santa and Rudolph's snacks laid out on a tray by the tree in the bare, but thankfully wind and watertight, extension. Sharon and I carried on with a few festive jobs as the southerly gale picked up outside, battering the newly blocked walls and windows and tugging at the tiles freshly nailed to the sarking. I pity poor Santa having to do the rounds on a night like this!

Feliz Navidad

And so this is Christmas... Rowan was the first to break ranks at the unholy hour of 0430 or so. Apparently he didn't look at his clock but instead went for his stocknig and emptied it. Sean and Finn were awake but resisting the temptation. Sharon intervened but Rowan, being Rowan, didn't retreat to bed quietly. Somehow, Angus kept asleep.

The second coming was just before seven. Angus and Rowan went through to their brothers' room and opened their stockings. I found them all bright-eyed and excited. Sean thought he had heard Santa. Angus noted that half of Santa's mince pie and Rudolph's carrot had gone. I kept them up for a quarter of an hour or so before releasing them downstairs and into the living room. Santa had delivered!

There was much whooping and hollering, especially when Finn saw his huge plush dog. "That's massive!" pronounced Angus. Rowan's excitement levels reached the pitch only he can muster as he tore into his pile of presents. All the boys had some presents from Santa and some from Mum and Dad as well as a number of others. Angus would sit on the couch and struggle to open a present then bring it over to show his Mammy before returning to his pile. Rowan was a whirling dervish in a blizzard of ripped wrapping paper while Sean and Finn were more conservative in their approach. Finn got a lot of art materials whilst Sean was pleased with his iTunes card, Now 83 CD and Lego log cabin. Angus was delighted to get a plush Mickey Mouse and other Mickey stuff, including a breakfast set. It's hard to say whether Rowan was happy with his presents as it seems to be the act of opening them that excites him most.

As the dust settled and the shreds of paper were gathered up, the boys began to choose one or two of their presents to play with while Sharon made a festive cooked breakfast. The day was quite quiet after that, with Sharon occupied mostly in the kitchen, singing along to Les Miserables while she prepared the turkey and ham for the late afternoon lunch. I took Rowan out for a scoot round Winton. It was a pleasant day, but the westerly wind was brisk. After dinner, featuring creme brulees by candlelight, Sharon took the other three out for a walk around the block too. It's hard work dragging the boys out at the moment. TV, laptop games (or TV on the laptop), iPods, Nintendo DS - these all seem to be irresistible compared to reading a book or getting some fresh air. I spent most of the day struggling with an iTunes upgrade.

We watched some festive telly - Tangled and Strictly Come Dancing - but that was about the extent of sitting down together before bedtime. Soon the boys were tucked back up in bed. That's it all over for another year, as Lesley and I used to say. Although Angus was asking when Santa was coming again.

Twas the night before Christmas

It's 9pm and all the boys are in bed. Angus is asleep and the rest are trying hard. Sean had a torrid time of it last Christmas Eve, couldn't sleep with excitement, kept wakening up and eventually was very tired and emotional on the day itself as a result. He's determined not to make the same mistake twice and was insistent (the one day of the year they were all amenable) to getting plenty fresh air and exercise today to tire himself and his brothers out.

Rowan was very croaky today, having inherited the cough from Angus. We went for a walk up to Swanston Golf Club via Lothianburn on what was an overcast but fairly mild day. Once there we had hot chocolates (Americano with hot milk on the side for the lady) before making the return journey, Sharon diverting to take in the horses with the wee two while I took the big two along Caiyside, to where both the McLeods and the Valentines have recently moved. In fact, Lewis and Alex called in for Sean shortly after we got home so he went out for a cycle - more fresh air, so good!

After pumpkin soup, Sharon went to get her fringe trimmed with Rowan in tow, to pick up a parcel en route: his repaired Nintendo DSi. "We're getting near. I can sense it. It's like old friends being reunited," he pronounced as they approached the delivery office in Morningside. I meanwhile, took on a trip to Asda, which wasn't as apocalyptic as Sharon had described Costco a couple of days ago. The Mayan calendar may have been wrongly interpreted as predicting the end of civilisation, but there's nothing like a festive holiday (shops closed for one day) to signal a fundamental break down in the order of things. It didn't quite come down to people trading blows as they fought over the last brussel sprout tree, but you get the picture. I've been there before, in a frenetic, frantic and ultimately futile search for a red cabbage.

Still, we got the children fed, ready for bed and relatively calm. Sharon took Angus (wrapped up in a blanket) and Rowan outside to look up at the sky and see if there was any sight of Santa. "It's very dark," noted Sharon. "But Rudolph's red nose will light up the sky for Santa!" was Angus's reasoned response. As I finish this, it's now past midnight and Finn has been down a few times, getting increasingly upset at his inability to sleep. He has disturbed Santa at his work too, perilously so. This will be a special, and possibly unique Christmas. Angus really gets it this year and has been asking, daily, how many sleeps until Santa comes. Sean is just hanging on at the other end, so this will likely be the only time we have all four bought into the Santa belief. Here's hoping they're happy with what he brings.

Festive run-up

The final week at school is generally a write-off. Not that work is much different: productivity takes a dip. There was a review of our function of late but fortunately there appears to be no redundancies amongst my peers. There are a few IT roles going though, almost entirely through voluntary redundancy. As ever it is unsettling, especially as more and more well-kent faces with Standard Life experience leave the building.

The schools broke up on Thursday lunchtime. A few mums and a good few kids went to the cinema to see the Rise of the Guardians. It was Angus's first trip to the cinema. Unlike his brothers who did not distinguish themselves on their cinematic debuts, Angus sat happily in the dark and the noise and munched on his sweeties. That made up for him missing out on his concert and nursery parties as his cough and cold kept him at home all week.

Stuart and Lesley came over for tea and an exchange of gifts on the Friday evening then I went out to them on the Sunday afternoon as Angus had fallen asleep in the car and we decided to give him a decent nap.

Earlier on the Sunday we had headed into the city centre for a brunch at the Edinburgh Larder deli in Blackfriars St (Black Bo's in days gone by). I enjoyed my GF bacon sandwich and celeriac soup and the boys ate up too. We walked from there to the Festival Theatre to see The Snowman, the boys' present courtesy of their Irish aunties and Nana and Papa. There is so much stuff in the house these days that these sorts of presents are appreciated by us, if not necessarily by the boys. They were attentive enough, although seemed to enjoy running around the upper cirle during the interval more, Angus flipping seats up and down everywhere he went, running into boxes and generally giving Sharon heart failure every time he went near the edge of the balcony. It was his theatre debut, following on from the cinematic experience two days' previously. Finn preferred the talking of the panto to the mime and music of The Snowman but Sean had keen eyes for the dancing, of which there was plenty. Rowan and Sean liked trying to spot the set changes whenever it went dark. Overall it was very well done, with the snow cascading from the roof at the end a fitting finale to set us up for Christmas.

Building up

December can be a very long month, as the boys get increasingly excited about Christmas. I suppose it's hard for us to remember that mounting festive excitement as the month turns from November, the advent calendars are bought, the Christmas lists mulled over and the toy shops browsed, the late afternoon and evening darkness gradually brightened by lights and decorations both public and private and the promise of presents growing day by day.

We do have to be patient though, realise the excitement leads to wayward behaviour, late nights through not being able to get to sleep, which in turn leads to tiredness and more fractious behaviour. Patience and a little indulgence too, as we'd like to enjoy Christmas with the boys when they're still young enough to appreciate the magic of it all.

I took the big three into town on Saturday afternoon, for want of anything better to do and to get them outdoors. We parked in the Sheraton car park and took a short cut through the hotel which was very festive inside with a spectacular gingerbread village display. There was no sign of the reindeer in Princes St Gardens so we made our way along Rose St instead, stopping in at Jenners to see the tree then nipping round to the Dome in all its festive gllory. It must be about fifteen years since it opened but it has since become a centrepiece of Christmas decoration in Edinburgh.

The boys were fortified by pancakes and juice from Greggs ("I love Greggs" - Sean) and delighted to get a run at the American Candy store. To give them their due, they know not to pester to get their purchases all at once and are quite happy for their bounty to be rationed over a period of days or longer, often forgetting they have sweets (except for Sweet Tooth Sean, of course). I picked up Angus from Sharon on the way home. She brought him in on the bus on her way to a "bag party" for her team at Ocean Jewellry in Lothian Road and then a meal at the Edinburgh Larder in Alva St.

On Sunday we had the St. Johns over for tea, Sharon cooking a splendid pot roast. Alex and Louie had a great time with Sean and Finn with Rowan doing his best to get involved too, although Rowan's attempts at involvement generally mean he is diving or jumping on people. Such is the lot of the wee brother trying to get attention. He's been a wee bit sensitive of late, short on confidence. His reading is fantastic however, and I bought him a bedside spotlight so he can read in the evenings and mornings without disturbing Angus. He's currently getting stuck into the Enid Blyton "Mystery" series, discovering the delights of Fatty and the Five Find-Outers. Sean re-read the whole series that I bought for Rowan's birthday. It's nice to hear them discuss books they've read.

Carolling

We enjoyed a rare outing to a church on Sunday, attending the family evening carol service at St. Katherines in Strathearn Road as guests of Ruth and Norman Martin. I enjoyed the service, probably as the children, with the exception of Sean who read a book and didn't really enter into the Christmas spirit of things (which he has been extolling me and Sharon to do since late November - I have been pointing out to him that things like carol concerts are festive staples), were whisked away to watch a video after fifteen minutes or so. Finn did sit and listen while he was present and tried to sing along to the hymn. The behaviour was an improvement on our last attempt to attend Christmas Day mass at St. Marks in Oxgangs, when Sean, Finn and Rowan had to be taken out. "Why are we even here?" I recall Sean asking loudly, which was not an invitation to philosophical or theological debate, merely a rude protest at not being home with his presents.

Prior to the service we were at the Martin's house in Greenbank Village, for pre-service drinks and nibbles. Angus especially enjoyed the sausages! Finn and Rowan enjoyed having a run around too, playing with Grace, the youngest of the Martin children.

Saturday was such a miserable day that, once I'd dragged all four to Gracemount for Angus and Rowan's swimming and we'd had a look round Costco, we returned home and didn't venture out again. The boys were fascinated by the ladies icing huge sponge cakes in the bakery area of Costco. We could probably have spent the rest of the day there. Sharon, meanwhile, was overseeing a training session at the Carlton Highland Hotel and then, afterwards, intercepted the potential mugging of a woman in her fifties on North Bridge, acting first then thinking later. She had a bit of a fraught day, all told.

Christmas cheer

Sean was very excited running up to Christmas and Christmas Eve was no exception. He was determined to go to bed early but that didn't transpire and he was beside himself as he found he couldn't get off to sleep. It must have been close to 11pm before he tipped over and Sharon heard him at 2am and then at intervals through the night as he and Sean evidently got up to check their stockings. The night had been very windy so Santa must have been fairly blown about on his travels. Thankfully he filled the stockings and left some presents in the appointed places in the living room, as well as a dirty footprint in the fireplace.

The wee two didn't join in till 7am and the stocking gifts were duly opened. Next, Nana, Papa and Olivia were roused from their beds to provide the entourage to the main event in the living room. Rowan was less frenzied this year. Last year he was like a present-threshing machine! Angus definitely got Christmas this year. "My open this one?" he would ask questioningly, his head cocked to one side as he hefted a parcel in his hands. So what did they get this year?

In the stockings were mess tins for camping, Womble tins with chocolate gold coins, the obligatory tangerines, glow necklaces and wrist bands, drinks bottles, Moshi monsters, CDs and Curly Wurlys. Sean got a story writing book and Lego Harry Potter 5-7 Wii game from Santa, golf clubs, Strictly Come Dancing annual and long sleeve T-shirts from us. Finn got a science experiment book and an Epic Mickey Wii game from Santa and a golf bag, Junior Scrabble and long sleeve T-shirts from us. Rowan got a Super Mario Galaxy Wii game and history wall map from Santa and a USB Drum Pad, Space Race game and world jigsaw from us. Angus did well, getting an Iggle Piggle soft toy, Wii Party with controller and a soft football from Santa and a three wheel scooter, Toy Story backpack and velcro ball and bib catch and target game from us. There was also books and DVDs and an annual castle pass from Nana and Papa which will be put to good use.

After all the excitement of the unwrapping the living room was a bit of a mess. I made the Christmas porridge then Sharon took over in the kitchen, hobbling about and directing Marie and Olivia in the preparations for the dinner. I was tired enough and evidently so was Angus who fell asleep in my arms on the couch while I managed a brief doze as the boys played their new Wii games.

Suitably refreshed and dressed, I took Sean, Rowan and Angus down to the Hermitage of Braid for a breezy walk and to try to persuade Angus to use his new scooter. In the event it was Rowan who did most of the scooting.

Dinner was late in the afternoon. The turkey crown was a little dry but the baked ham was delicious. We filled up, the boys were delighted to have crackers, and a selection of puddings. The highlight of the day was the boys' Christmas show. Sean had been arranging this for the best part of a week and it was a treat. He danced, both solo and with an unusually focused Rowan (mostly used as a rag doll for Sean to lift and twirl about), Sean and Finn sang Winter Wonderland, parting to reveal Rowan on the fireplace, singing the chorus line, Sean played Jingle Bells on his recorder and Rowan sang Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer with interjections from Finn seated behind him. Not to be outdone, Angus insisted on doing an impromptu dance too, spinning round and round before staggering off to the couch.

All done it was very well executed and was great to see them perform, with so much confidence, something they had evidently practised. A very nice was to round off Christmas Day.

Step into Christmas

Sharon had been due to go to Newcastle on Saturday but that was cancelled so she had the joy of taking the boys to the Christmas Fayre down at Pentland. I wisely stayed out the way, having dropped Sean and Finn off at the golf and headed off to do some Christmas shopping on my own. After lunch, with Sharon's foot operation looming, we decided to take the boys into Winter Wonderland in Princes St earlier in the month than usual, as Sharon will be incapacitated from next Wednesday.

We parked behind the Pleasance and toddled up and over the Royal Mile to Princes St. Sean was complaining about cold feet so I took him and Finn to buy ski socks then we rejoined Sharon and the wee two who had already had a ride on the carousel. Rowan, predictably, was a livewire and difficult to keep on a leash in the busy Saturday afternoon crowds. I queued with him and Sean for the "ferry wheel" as Rowan kept calling it. We finally got on it and swung high up above the gardens and Princes St until we were level with the roof of Jenners. Still not as high as the Scott Monument though! Rowan loved it. I had to keep a hold of him to stop him sticking his head out the cage. It was pretty chilly when we stopped, stranded at the top of the wheel, to let others on and off.

Next, we all went on the carousel, but only Sean got on a horse. Finn is a reluctant particpant in any sort of ride at the best of times so he only wanted to sit in a bench seat. The rest of us joined him. We wandered through the German market but, rather than go for the burger option, thought we'd go somewhere for a family dinner. However, most of the festive shoppers seemed to have had the same idea. Every restaurant we tried was mobbed! Rowan resorted to wailing every time we were turned away while a hungry Sean was little better. "We're like Mary and Joseph being turned away from every place!" he sobbed as we traipsed along Thistle St.

We gave up on the meal option and I cracked on back to the car, returning to pick up Sharon and the refugee children just as the rain started to come on. As an alternative, we phoned ahead to the Chip Inn in Oxgangs and ordered fish suppers, including a gluten-free one for me! We returned to the house to wolf them down in front of the TV, a rare treat for our boys, while watching Strictly Come Dancing.

On Sunday we headed over to Klondyke Garden Centre to pick out this year's tree. It was duly stuffed in the back of the Sharan and driven home where I decorated it with the help of the boys. As annual markers go, the construction of the Christmas tree stand, screwing in the long bolts to pin the trunk in place, lying prostrate on the floor reaching under the tree, is one of the stronger ones. With Marie arriving today we're all set for Christmas, but Sharon's operation comes first.

Rowan the shredder

Santa did arrive. Sean apparently checked his stocking in the middle of the night and took the presents out but it was sometime after 6am when the upstairs contingent could contain themselves no longer and began opening their stocking presents. Sharon and I got up when they advanced on the sitting room, diverting them back upstairs so we could see what Santa had brought them before waking Angus and opening his stocking gifts. The boys all got CDs, Sean and Finn got headphones, there were books, Smarties, wash toys, some little Lego, LED balloons, chocolates and the ubiquitous tangerines.

Santa had taken the milk, biscuit and carrot left out for him on the stairs by Sharon (the boys had been too eager to get to bed to do their festive chores), left a chalk message on a red love-heart on the bannister, knocked over a plany by the fireplace and left three sooty footprints on the hearth and carpet!

Once unleashed into the sitting room, the boys literally tore into the piles of presents, with Rowan particularly severe on anything in wrapping paper. He was indiscriminately shredding paper in a present-crazed frenzy, disregarding who presents were from, whether they were actually his and what was inside the paper! He almost had to be physically restrained!

Angus got a wooden Noah's Ark and a Dinosaur "Happy Valley" set as well as a bank and a turtle back-pack with rein attachment. Rowan got swamp monsters, a pinball machine (very noisy, which he loved, not surprisingly), a light-sabre, "Yoshi" (a soft-toy dragon from Finn), some clothes and a Fireman Sam set. Finn got a collapsible ball like the ones he saw in Hamleys in London in October, a Scooby-Doo card game, a Rush Hour Safari game, Magnetix, blow-pens, a light-sabre and a human torso 3-D jigsaw. Sean got an electronics set, a Lego Creator car, an Origami set, a human eye 3-D jigsaw and a pizza fractions game. Star of the show was the present from us, a Nintendo DSi XL and a game for each of them. They also got a Just Dance 2 game for the Wii from Nana and Papa. I augmented the Wii collection with a Wii Fit Plus and Balance Board as part of my fitness-oriented present to Sharon (and myself). There were various other books and stickers and stuff too.

This year the boys had made a point of getting each other and us presents, either by persuading us to purchase them or by wrapping up their own toys to give to each other. I received a bottle of cider that had been much deliberated over, according to Sharon. They had wanted to get me beer, but had to revise their plans when informed that I couldn't drink beer. I also got a box of chocolate truffles. Sharon got a brooch each from Sean and Finn that they had made at Alison's and a high visibility running top.

After pancakes and breakfast muffins, things calmed down a little as the boys took stock of their new additions. Needless to say, time on the DSi was the most cherished and sought after! Finn especially likes the camera function and being able to distort and manipulate pictures. The Magnetix was another popular plaything. Sharon "skyped" Tralee and Athlone to have some sight and sound of the rest of her family on Christmas Day, with Angus and Barry featuring as screen stars.

Our oven is on the blink. (Bit of a saga: thermostat wasn't working so oven was too cold. Man came about a month ago, said it needed a part. Took payment of the part, ordered it, didn't take note of who it was for, i.e. us. Finally returns with the part once Sharon gets a hold of him, cuts the wire to the thermostat in the top oven that was working OK and fits the new part in the bottom oven (we presume). Bottom oven is now too hot. Top oven has no thermostat control. Just what you want over the festive period.) Consequently the turkey was rather dry, having been cooked at too high a heat. The boys weren't great over lunch - I don't like this, I don't like that - which tests your patience and makes you seriously consider macaroni cheese with a sprig of holly for next year.

The day petered out quietly thereafter, save for some playing on the Wii Fit with Sharon and I doing slaloms and skateboarding. My main highlight of the evening was to see the start of the 4th Ashes test from the MCG. With the series level at 1-1 despite England's dominance, this was going to be crucial encounter. As I went to bed after the first hour's play, Australia were on 37 for 1. If only I had stayed up a bit longer...

Calm before the storm

We all finished work and school on Thursday the 23rd but with the freezing temperatures persisting and the ice and snow all around, we forsook a Christmas Eve trip into Winter Wonderland and went to a soft play instead. It was Sean and Finn's first time at the extensive Monkey Bizness at Fountain Park and they had a good time, though it was Angus who was the real adventurer. Climbing all over the structures with only a little assistance from Sean, he came down the large slide several times on his own. We decided just to lunch there too, as the fare was decent and the price very reasonable, but it took an age for the food to arrive. Angus was just about falling asleep into his lunch when it came.

Once home, we settled down behind closed doors. The penultimate advent calendar chocolates were consumed and a Christmas DVD was watched. (When I was young, advent calendars only went up to 24, which seemed a scandalous oversight to me so I remember making my own one with a big double door for the 25th). Sean and Finn were keen to get to bed after making and placing their present markers in the sitting room, and helping Rowan and Angus with theirs. Since I bought the speakers for the laptop and positioned them on the stairwell bookcase, the laptop has provided music for the upstairs landing dance zone by day and a more sedate soundtrack for going to sleep. The festive favourite is the Mister Men Mr. Christmas CD.

With stockings set on the ends of the beds and the boys warning each other and especially Rowan about the consequences of getting up early and disturbing Santa and possibly not getting any presents, the boys settled down to sleep. Sharon and I were able to sit down to a festive curry in peace and anticipate Santa's arrival.

Stable Manners

Sean took to the stage yesterday (well, a seat to the side of the stage) as part of the P4 choir supporting the P5 Christmas show entitled "Stable Manners." There was an afternoon and evening performance. Finn and Rowan were at the former, although Rowan, accompanying Alison, was sprawled out on a chair fast asleep for the duration and was the devil's own child on waking. Consequently, he wouldn't sleep in the evening, appearing in the living room at regular intervals once Sharon and I returned from the evening performance.

Sean sang out well, far improved from his stage debut in the City Nursery nativity five years ago when his thumb remained firmly lodged in his mouth for the duration. Looks like we'll be attending the Christmas show for seven of the next eight years, until Angus clears P5!

Our fingers are crossed that "online Santa" isn't held up by the snow. We have contingency plans in place but there is one item that may need an IOU from Santa!

The tree is up

The rapid thaw (not rapid enought to remove the massive, dirty mounds of ice fringing most roads and pavements round our way) has left the roads in a poor state. Sharon crunched through a pothole on Saturday which led to yet another flat tyre (near-side rear as opposed to the off-side rear recently replaced). It's not been a good year on the car front. My heatnig has gone on the blink too, which proved challenging driving back from Lesley's last weeked in a minus six degree temperature with a windscreen frozen on the inside.

Finn and Sharon tried kick-boxing on Saturday. Both seem to have enjoyed it. Finn tends to be the least active of the boys, in terms of running about and dancing, so we're hoping to encourage him to do more things like this. He's started reading the Faraway Tree trilogy which is great to see.

Rowan and Angus had a great time at soft play last week, Angus running about kissing everyone. He's been getting fed up with the palaver of getting dressed up in so many layers to go out in the backpack, so he enjoyed being out the house for a change.

I just realised this will be the last Christmas with a child in a cot in our house. Sharon bought a nice tree on Friday and I put it up and decorated it with the help of the boys over the weekend. As usual, they are delighted to see the decorations come out the loft. If anything, Rowan is even more excited than normal which raises him to unbearable levels of screechiness and, when he doesn't get his way, whinginess.

Sharon was away working yesterday with Julie who had stayed over on Saturday night, so I had a tidy-up day for the most part, trying to get the rooms in order before the next wave of toys and packaging sweeps in over the festive season. In the afternoon I took the boys into town to see the lights at the Dome and Jenners and the Fayre on Princes St. They were very good at staying together. We had pizza and bolognese in La Rusticana without major mishap. Sometimes you just have to test yourself that you can go out and do "normal" family things, even when you have four children to contend with!

Social whirl

After a brief thaw on Christmas Day where it looked like the snow was finally on the wane, the cold northerly air hit us again, bringing more snow. Sharon went out for a walk in the evening with Fiona Fletcher while I settled down to watch the cricket highlights. She returned after about two and a half hours looking rather weatherbeaten! And the next day she could barely walk as her pelvis really flared up in the aftermath of her marathon stroll in the snow. I've had a couple of spins in my Audi and it's got to the point where you have to leave our house in a downhill direction and return from the top end. The boys have been reluctant to play in the snow. It takes as long to get them dressed to go out as they actually spend out.

We all went over to the Patersons for lunch on the 27th and were eventually joined by the Valentines as the snow fell thickly once more. Apart from tucking into the fine food laid on by Wendy, we spent the afternoon looking out the window as cars struggled on the bend, wheels spinning furiously as they tried to get purchase on the slight incline. The boys had a great time with Ross, Lewis and Zoe, the older ones mostly playing Wii games. Angus was in poor form though. A subsequent trip to the doctor after another night of poor sleeping and laboured breathing confirmed he has bronchiolitis and most probably RSV, which hospitalized Rowan when he was a couple of months old. Poor lad.

Scott and Zoe and Milly came round for lunch on the 28th and appear to have passed on an unwanted present. I came down with a severe bout of D & V after going to bed on the night of the 29th. I was sick every hour or so for about nine hours. Not a pleasant experience. Fortunately Sharon wasn't struck down until the morning of Hogmanay so at least we were able to cover for each other in the childminding department. I missed Katherine Grainger's visit: Sharon took the boys out with her to the soft play at Craiglockhart to give me some peace and for them to let off some energy. The Barnes were round on the afternoon of the 29th, we had a very pleasant evening dining at the Fletchers on the 28th and we entertained Gav and Hannah Cairns on the 29th. So, a very busy few days on the eating, drinking and visiting front.

Our planned Hogmanay trip through to Largs to stay with the Wilsons was a casualty of the illnesses. Finn was sick once, so he got off lightly, and Angus has gradually improved in his breathing, coughing and appetite but with Sharon taking to her bed tonight at 9.30pm with a migraine in the wake of being sick and me still fragile after the tummy bug, a very quiet New Year is in order. I'm backing up photos to disk, the house is deathly quiet and even outside, with the trees and gardens cloaked in snow, there's barely a sound. Looks like I'm seeing in the bells myself. A quiet end to the noughties!

Wii wish you a Merry Christmas

Angus was the first of the boys to see Christmas as we gave him his late bottle after midnight and a Christmas cuddle from his loving mum and dad. He repaid us by sleeping through from that point on but Finn appeared by the bed at 3.30am excited because Santa had been. He spent a while in the bed before returning to his own bed. In the morning the boys waited till their normal wake-up time before getting started on their stockings. They were relatively reserved as they discovered a variety of gifts and books that Santa's elves had packed into their stockings, although sneaking some of their sweets in preference to satsumas was a bit naughty. New jammies for everyone and electric toothbrushes were the pick of the presents. We moved downstairs, noting the bites out the carrots and buscuit crumbs, to check Angus's first stocking. He had some little gifts too.

From there we moved into the living room and all hell broke loose! Santy had left a sooty footprint by the fireplace again. A few minutes of frenzied unwrapping revealed the booty that Santa had brought, as well as the other presents from Mum, Dad, Nana, Papa and others. Angus looked on bemused from Sharon's arms as his brothers literally tore into their piles, Rowan almost disappearing beneath a pile of discarded wrapping paper.

Rowan got a new Aquadraw and a knight jigsaw and a noughts and crosses game. Finn got Crayola Glow Station and Meccano. Sean got a Fab Foods Pop'n'Freeze, Famous Five puzzles and a big Galaxy book. They all got new stripy T-shirts and DVDs and Sean got a They Might Be Giants CD which seems set to follow Snack Time as a favourite. Angus got a Bumbo, a little seat for him to be plunked in now that he's outgrown the (thoroughly exhausted) bouncer, a taggy toy for him to suck on, a little wristwatch (for him to suck on) and some clothes.

The big present from us was a Wii. Neither of us are, or have ever been, gaming fans. We had debated getting a Nintendo DS but with four boys it seemed more prudent to get a games console they could all share. They got Wii Sports and Wii Sports Resort too as well as SuperMario Kart and a Madagascar game, an extra steering wheel and controller too. So no doubt the cries of "can I watch telly?" will soon be replaced by "can I play on the We-eee?"

Having filled a blue bag with the wrapping paper (Santa and Mrs. Claus must have been busy wrapping all those presents...) the boys began investigating their presents in a little more detail while Sharon cooked the Christmas dinner. A turkey crown and a ham were duly served up as the boys, calmed down and dressed in their new Boden stripey T-shirts, took their places around the table and tucked in. We had dessert by candlelight, which is another tradition Sharon would like to establish.

To work off the effects of the dinner, we took to the Wii, Sean, as experienced gamer from time spent playing at Phoebe's and Ross's, leading the way. We kept to bowling and boxing today with a little bit of MarioKart thrown in. Sean is good at the bowling, Finn was untouchable at the boxing (short, quick arm movements seem best) and Rowan was funny trying to do anything. Sharon's ultra-competitive side comes out all too quickly - she'll have to try to keep that in check although Sean is so immodest we have few qualms about beating him!

Angus was a tad grisly as the day wore on and seems to be coming down with something. Sharon skyped Ardilaun so Adrian, Olivia and Marie and Michael could see the boys, Rowan having a cheeky tongue sticking out contest with Oliv. The boys retired to bed after supper, happy with their lot, allowing Sharon and I some time to reflect on Christmas with four boys. It sure ain't quiet!

Deep and crisp and even

The boys finally got into Winter Wonderland today as we braved the snowy roads and worked our way into town. Sharon had walked them down to the foot of Swanston Drive yesterday so they could go sledging on the path round to Caiyside at the back of the (increasingly derelict) Fairmile Inn. However, they hadn't lasted long until wet gloves and cold overtook them. They've been calling for snow since early November but they just can't play in it for any length of time. Sharon then had a fifteen minute plod back up the hill with Rowan bawling, Finn kicking off and Sean joining in just so he didn't feel left out. Angus sat quietly in the backpack throughout. It took hot chocolates in the batch to calm them down...until Rowan splashed water into Finn's hot chocolate at which point things flared up again.

Anyway, with the boys having been very good at tidying up their rooms and the playroom (Santa was unlikely to leave presents in messy rooms), we drove into town and parked on a snowy Mound. We walked round to the Gardens but as it was still a little bit light we took the boys into Jenners and then round to the Dome to see the trees and lights. At this point I realised we hadn't bought a parking ticket for the car. Remarkably for the centre of Edinburgh I got back in time else it could have been an expensive day out!

Not that the boys were shy with our money. Aberdeen Angus burgers were hoovered then fine hot chocolate was imbibed as we crowded around a patio heater outside the Galleries. We watched the skaters and children splashing about inside inflatable balls then climbed back up to the big wheel and the carousel. I went on with Sean and Rowan as Finn threw a tantrum and refused to come on too. Then he did want to go on, so Sharon took him, only for Finn to start bawling again as soon as the horses went up and down. A tad overwrought at Santa's impending arrival, methinks. We trudged back to the car, sated on festive cheer, and headed for home.

Once refuelled by dinner, Finn perked up and set out for the family service at Fairmilehead Church with Sharon and Sean while I put Angus and Rowan to bed. It seems the churchgoers had a nice Christmassy time singing carols. Sean and Finn were fairly quick to bed on their return, having left out Santa's tray on the shelf on the stair, positioned the present markers in the living room and made sure Sean's signs directing Santa from chimney to bedroom were all in place. They were excited but tired, so our active day had borne fruit. With the snow lying round about, deep and crisp and even, it's going to be a very white Christmas!

The tree is up

The shops are busy and there's a growing sense of pressure (for me at any rate) as I trudge around the usual outlets looking for festive inspiration. We bought the tree at the weekend, a very pleasantly proportioned spruce from the Klondyke Garden Centre where the boys had a chat with Santa. They've to leave out milk, biscuits and a carrot for the reindeer. Purchasing the tree at Klnodyke and having a good look round their decorations is fast becoming a Christmas tradition in the Wallace household.

We're keen to establish some traditions of our own as the family starts to grow. The trip to buy the tree, the emergence of the boxes of Christmas decorations from the attic and the subsequent decoration of the tree and house is a cornerstone of Christmas. It's good to see Sean and Finn recognise Big Santa, the snowman doing the splits and other decorations as they are rediscovered from their 11-month hibernation. Or should that be "eternation" or some other word that is the opposite of going to sleep for the winter? Needless to say the boys are ramping up their excitement levels as the big day approaches with Sharon and I having to make sure Santa's elves are kept well informed of any misdemeanours.

Sean was at the Churchill Theatre on Friday night with the Beavers to see Ali Baba. That's him been to another place that I've not been to. It may seem odd, but it struck me the other day that the boys are growing up in the south side of Edinburgh. This is their locale, their current world, and the place they will always think back to as their roots. They know the streets, the houses, the lines on the pavements, the local shops (or supermarkets more like), the library and dentist and church halls, just as Sharon remembers Athlone and I remember Paisley.

Christmas past

So, Santa came down the chimney and left a sooty footprint on the hearth. That was barely noticed by the lads as they piled into their pile of presents. Rowan was matched by a Pooh Bear almost as big as him, immediately christened "heavy Pooh", a little tractor and other cars, some bath toys, a Tigger video and a Cars suitcase. "I go on my holidays." Finn came up trumps with a two-wheeled scooter, Mr. Incredible costume and a Mamma Mia DVD which we all sat down and watched after Christmas dinner. Sean didn't get the invisible paint he'd asked for (Santa must have put it down somewhere and forgetten where it was) but did get an Alvin and the Chipmunks DVD, some books, a jigsaw, Moon Sand and Twister. And the highlight for all three boys was two boxes full of Dino track which was soon wending its way around the playroom.

The boys didn't rise too early, managing to wait until their appointed hour, but they were keen to rouse Rowan and thrust the contents of his stocking through the bars of his cot as he struggled to open his eyes! Finn was a little overwrought over the day, still recovering from his cold and acting as through the excitement leading up to Christmas had been a bit too much for him. Nana and Papa had arrived on the 23rd and on Christmas Eve we headed into the Winter Wonderland on Princes St, Rowan and me joining the rest after a detour to Livingston. Papa took Sean and Finn on to the merry-go-round after Sharon and Finn had gone down the big helter-skelter slide. Once home and fed, Santa's supper was laid out in the sitting room and the boys went quite smartly to bed. Finn was a little apprehensive about Santa marauding through the house in the night.

We attempted a trip to church but I took the boys out after twenty minutes or so as they were not in the mood for an endurance test. Finn kept questioning loudly, "Why are we here?" and Rowan and Sean had faces that would have turned milk. After playing outside for a while I took them to the park at Falcon Avenue. It was a mild day and the fresh air was a pleasant alternative to the piles of wrapping paper and general feeling of anti-climax back in the house. Sharon cooked the turkey and trimmings with Marie at her side but Sean and Finn weren't particularly enthusiastic about eating. Rowan was napping by this stage. We were all still recovering from our various viruses I suspect (I took the 23rd off work as I was flattened by the cold and Sharon had a chest and sinus infection) so we were glad to all sit down and watch Mamma Mia.

On Saturday I dropped Marie and Michael into town then the rest of us drove out to Almond Valley Farm Park on a cold crisp day. The boys had a good run around, although poor Rowan was increasingly cold and miserable as his runny nose took hold, and we bumped into the Johnstons. A hot chocolate and a soft play revived the boys and we handed over the reins to Nana and Papa on our return home. Sharon and I then went for a leisurely dinner at First Coast in Dalry Rd and moseyed on round to Fountain Park to see the latest James Bond film, Quantum of Solace. It's not often we get the chance to combine food and the cinema so we enjoyed the evening out. The film itself was OK, a bit of a brisk action film thin on plot: not as good as Casino Royale.

Marie and Michael were waved off today and replaced by the Valentines and Patersons, round for lunch and a play (the children) and some chat (the parents). It was good to get the children playing together (Zoe had asked Karen to text Sharon on Christmas Day to see if Finn was better as she was worried he wouldn't enjoy Christmas) and to sit down with an afternoon glass of port. Merry Christmas!

Festive Greetings

Festive greetings to you and yours! Whilst we acknowledge the rather impersonal nature of sending out our annual message in this format, there is good reason. Rather than spend money on cards and stamps this year we have elected to use technology and donate all the money to charity instead. Also, there is the environmental impact of saving paper!

In the last twelve months Sean has left Primary One behind him and established himself in P2, Finn began pre-school nursery and is now a feature in the morning class and Rowan has advanced from a wobbly toddler to a loud wee boy who rules the roost at home and in his nursery. Can we cope with a fourth? (See the end of this festive message if you don't already know...)

Sean continues to do very well with his reading, leading the way despite being one of the youngest in his class. That’s my boy! He’s good with his numbers too and Sharon tells me off if I mention things like all our ages being prime numbers (which they were, up till April) or even numbers (which they are at present) as she knows Sean’s interest will be piqued and she’s worried about him being bored at school. Not that he’s showing any signs of that; he really enjoys seeing his friends and getting involved, even acting in his first proper play this week. He had four lines as "the king" and seems to have enjoyed the experience despite being a bit nervous beforehand.

Finn remains the most enigmatic of the three. He can be the most loving wee boy and is great for kisses and cuddles but he can get very frustrated at times if he's not feeling well and test our patience to the limit. He’s keen to try writing, likes doing his "homework" and can read the odd word too so next year will be a big one for him as he develops further and starts primary school. The two bigger lads are still as thick as thieves and play very well together. Finn has been more accommodating of Rowan of late and is starting to make an effort to play with him too.

Not that Rowan is particularly accommodating in return! Rowan is as different again from his brothers as he could be. You’d think you’d recognise some similarities between the three but if Sean is a Wallace, Finn a McFarlane (my mum) then Rowan is definitely a Coen! He switches from being a real charmer with twinkly eyes and dimples ("I’m Rony-Bo!" he says as he introduces himself to all and sundry) to king of the tantrums if things aren’t going his way. He hardly stops talking, although of late it has mostly been to scold his brothers - "Sit down Finn!"; "Thumb out, Sean!" - or his parents!

Our holidays this year started with a great Easter week in France, staying with the Harrisons in Grenoble, visiting Ruth and meeting up with Andi who also stay close by. With the three Harrison girls pairing off with the three Wallace boys it certainly wasn’t a quiet week but everyone got on famously. Sean and Finn had a morning at ski school and even Rowan, at 17 months, had a great time sledging. We continued the holidaying with friends theme by returning to Stank, near Barrow-in-Furness on the edge of the Lake District, with the Lasts who stayed next door. Again, having friends to play with added to the enjoyment for the boys and took the pressure off us a little to keep them entertained, especially since the sun wasn’t exactly splitting the skies.

In between the two family holidays, Sharon and I relaxed regally in Monte Carlo courtesy of the Pampered Chef. Sharon’s hard work since the previous August paid off as she finished as top points earner to win us the fabulous suite at the Hotel de Hermitage. We had four nights of wining and dining in style with the other PC trippers while Marie and Michael kept the boys in check back at the ranch. We ended the summer school holiday with a trip to Ireland so the boys have done a reasonable amount of travelling this year. With Rowan now a full air-fare paying passenger we need to start investigating house-swaps and closer-to-home options for the next few years! Sharon and I also popped over to Oslo (pricey!) for a couple of days to meet with Adrian who is studying in Sweden, I was in Rome and London on business during the year and Sharon has been up and down to England a few times so we’ve not kept our carbon footprints to a minimum. We do recycle a lot of stuff though! And use electronic communications!

Sharon achieved her own personal goal in June, completing her first marathon. Many of you know her knees aren't up to the running, so she walked it instead, as part of the Moonwalk in aid of Breast Cancer. Starting at midnight, she and her good friend Lesley walked the 26.2 miles through the night, completing the distance in just over 7.5 hours. Although exhausted, she felt a real sense of achievement in doing it and was thrilled to bits to come home to a fabulous poster created by Sean and Finn (and helped by Olivia!).

From running a mile from the merest incoming wave at North Berwick beach in May, Finn has developed into a great wee swimmer, fast catching up with Sean at their swimming lessons. Attending the lessons with Rowan as a spectator can be a challenge for Sharon as he often tries to follow his brothers into the pool! It’s great seeing Finn thrashing through the water and diving down to the bottom of the pool. He also managed a forward roll on the beam at Gym Nippers last week and seems to have the most athletic potential of the three with his size, strength and balance. He’ll only realise that potential if he takes his thumb out and elects to do more than clamour to watch telly most of the time! Rowan’s got a good wee kick of a ball but Sean’s sporting prowess seems to be restricted to running quite fast.

This may be a result of his, only recently detected, dodgy eyesight. Sean joined Finn in wearing glasses following a school test which showed he had a very weak right eye. He’s just come off the patches (makes him sound like a smoker!) as the eye has now strengthened, but he’ll be wearing glasses from now on. Rowan has an appointment for an eye test soon as we don’t want to find out too late that he has similar problems. Sean has started getting into music this year. He’s become a huge ABBA fan which was cemented by seeing Mamma Mia twice at the cinema. Even Rowan manages a passable medley of ABBA songs!

Sharon’s Pampered Chef team continues to grow, with a promotion to Advanced Directorship in July, and I’m still plodding along at Standard Life which is keeping its head above water despite the economic tsunamis of the last few months. Touch wood that my job and company remain secure through 2009. Water of the literal kind, the wettest August I can remember, meant that the cricket season was an anti-climactic washout.

And the final news to end 2008 on is that we are expecting the fourth (and final) addition to the Wallace Clan in June of this coming year. Sharon is delighted this time not to be as sick as she was with Rowan or Finn (having developed a close relationship on a daily basis with the toilet bowl with both pregnancies)! Many keep saying its a sign that its a girl, however all four pregnancies have been very different for many reasons. There is an 89% chance it will be another boy, seemingly. We'll be happy no matter what; a healthy baby is the best end result we can ask for.

If we don’t call or see you over the holiday period then have a good time, go easy on the mince pies and keep your fingers crossed that 2009 will be warmer and more prosperous for us all!